Sunday, December 30, 2012

Happy New Year 2013

Ok, so its been awhile since I have blogged, things have been super crazy and busy, and I have been feeling great lately.  So I thought I would start out tonight and talk about some new year resolutions I have for 2013......
1.  Save money....this is a must, I have to get better with saving!
2.  Be a more involved parent....actually do the things I think about, like arts and crafts and taking the kids to the park and being more active with them.
3. Lose the weight I need to lose....any way I can.....whether it is surgery or dr. help
4.  Stop freaking out about all of the small stuff....this one is going to be very hard for me.
5.  Take one room at a time in my house and get it completely cleaned and organized
6.  Have some dates with my honey....this is a must, we have no "me or we time" ( hey with 4 kids, its hard)
 So these are the things that are on my mind and I am determined to get them done and have a great 2013!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

soul searching and house cleaning

  So it has been an interesting last few weeks.  I have had some issues with some people in my family and have decided it is best for me and my children do some house cleaning as far as who we communicate with.  It is sad when your own family stands against you and tries to bring you down.  There is enough of that in the world without your own family being a part of it.  I went into a bit of a depression and started having anxiety attacks during all of this, it was very hard and stressful.  It was good that during all of this we got to get away and go on a much needed vacation to the beach.  I did a bit of soul searching while I was there and tried to get things right in my head and my heart.  My husband and my kids are my main focus right now.  It is sad though that I cannot trust certain people and that really hurts my heart.  But in the end I know that me and my little family will be alright.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

My first born

I havent written in awhile so I thought I would sit down tonight and write a short blog.  Tomorrow is my oldest son's 17th birthday.  It makes me kind of sad to think about him being so grown up.  It seems like just yesterday he was born.  I think back about that day, and when the nurse handed him to me, I honestly never knew  I could love anyone so much, I thought he was the most beautiful little bundle I have ever seen.  I remember laying in the bed with him in the hospital watching the brady bunch.  I remember every time the phone rang and I had to move him he would scream his head off, he had some major lungs!  For awhile it was just me and him against the owrld, I was a single mom at the time, but I didnt mind.  There have been so many times during the years I was so sure I made such huge mistakes that I would have messed him up for life, but he has grown into quite a young man.   He is very funny and such a clear sense of right and wrong, he makes me very proud.  He has always tried to help the underdog and cared about people.  But he is still  my baby and I worry about the next few years and him being on his own, hopefully I have prepared him for his grown up life. Happy Birthday Zeke!  I love you more than the whole world!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Fathers Day!

Sooo, I am sitting here thinking about this day and what is means.  I am so greatful for my husband who stepped up to be a daddy to our kids (Zeke) in particular when he didnt have to.  I was a single mother when we met and that didnt scare him off one bit! So I would like to say thank you to my husband and all the other daddys out there who stepped up to take care of their kids or someone elses kids.

Monday, June 11, 2012


Sooo,  we got some exciting news today!! We were chosen for a child coming into foster care!!  I don't have much information right now, but what I do know is that she is 2 years old and that is about it!  She should be here in about an hour (wow, so fast!).  After I get to see her and what her little personality is like I will come up with a suitable nickname for her.  I am so excited, this makes me think about the night that we got Miss Priss and how nervous and excited we all were.  We waited for what seemed like forever (really it was more like 3 hours) and then the caseworker that was bringing her got lost, sooooo we waited and waited till they brought us our sweet tiny girl.  I did my customary thing and ordered pizza tonight, I always do that when we get a new kiddo, what kid doesn't like pizza, right?  I am a little worried about how I will handle a 3 year old and a 2 year old. Will I ever be able to leave the house again?  Hopefully things will go smoothly, I cant wait to see her little face!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

15 years...oh my

So, today is my 15 year wedding anniversary! Wow, that is a long time. I think back to that day 15 years ago (which really does not seem that long ago). I was surrounded by friends getting our hair done and Dennis was getting ready at our house, and from what I heard drinking cup after cup of coffee and getting as jittery as anyone could.  We had a sweet and simple ceremony at he Eastland church of Christ. The thing I remember most about our wedding and our vows was the fact that the preacher added my son in the vows, that it wasnt just Dennis and I, but that we were becoming a family. I loved that!  I am not normally a very sappy person, but that made me tear up.  Dennis has been a wonderful husband (much more than I deserve) and a wonderful father.  We have had our struggles along the way, but who dosent.  We have dealt with infertility, money issues at times, we have been through some very scary and serious medical issues, and becoming foster parents, having our hearts broken in that process and healed again.  We are helping a great friend raise his son and have adopted the most beautiful, nuttiest little girl in the world and of course there is "Zeke", my biological son that Dennis adopted when he was 4.  Looking back over it, there has been alot packed into that 15 years. We have been very blessed. I cant wait to see what the next  15 years holds for us!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Little known facts about my husband

It is almost my 15 year anniversay, so I thought it might be fun to add some little known fun facts about my husband.
#1  and I happen to think the most interesting is that he says that he knew the minute he met me that we would get married.  It took me a little longer to see that.
#2  He hates macaronni and cheese, I happen to think this completely insane, who can hate mac n cheese?
#3  He is very smart...almost too smart.  This has surprised some people , I guess because he works in the oil field, but he loves to work outdoors, so thats what he does.
#4  He use to draw and was quite the artist, but refuses to do so now...:(
#5  He is very old fashioned and misses the "good old days" when things were simpler and according to him movies were much better.
#6  He is wayyyy more patient than me and has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met.
#7  He is a great cook and makes the BEST fried chicken in the whole world.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

How to be a mommy??

So, it was mothers day a few days ago and it really got me thinking.  How do most people learn to be the mommies that they want to be? I would think usually by watching and learning from their own mommies.  The problem with me is that I never really had a mommy growing up.  My family is quite crazy and I never had that role model.  I think it is interesting that all I have ever wanted was to be a mommy. When I was little I actually put my baby dolls under my shirt, so I could be "pregnant"! LOL   Maybe since I wanted a mommy so badly at that point, as I am sure all little girls do,  I craved being the perfect little mommy myself.  The problem is now that I am all grown up and have REAL kids and not baby dolls anymore, and my kids have REAL problems and REAL attitudes.  I have a hard time figuring out how to deal with motherhood sometimes,  I have always wanted to be the perfect mommy and the days when my kids are driving me crazy and stomping on my last nerve I find myself yelling like a crazy person, and that is not the mommy I wanted to be. It makes me feel so guilty and horrible.  All I can do is strive to be a better mommy that I really do want to be. But my question is, when you have had NO role models (except for June Cleaver mommies on TV) then what do you do, how do figure this mommy thing out.  That is my struggle, I want it, but don't know how to achieve it.  Maybe some of these real life super mommies need to write a how to manual???

Thursday, May 10, 2012

"The Call"......or not

So, as you all know I am a foster parent, hoping to adopt again and waiting for that scary, yet oh so exciting call about a baby. Well it happened today, we got a call about a 2 day old baby girl.  I was so excited, I immediately of course said YES!!!  So then I start thinking about where I will put the baby and all of the little baby things I will need, and how Miss Priss will deal with a new little bundle in the house. That excitement lasted for about an hour until I found out they picked another family.  I was so heartbroken over this sweet baby girl that I haven't even seen.  I know I just need to put it in Gods hands and that he will bring the right baby for us our way, but sometimes that can be so hard to remember.  Being a foster parent can be such a roller coaster, but can be such a beautiful experience.  This is national foster parent month and I encourage all of you if you have it in your hearts to learn more about it and help a child!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

A Day In the life of a Hot Mess Circus clown!

 Ok, so recently I have decided to do a fake spray tan and it was looking pretty good up until the 3rd time.  I woke up this morning to find HUGE streaks on my was BAD.  Not only that, but last night I decided I was going to dye my hair, I was tired of the blonde and decided to go darker...welllll my hair is now black. So now picture this, I have blotchy fake tan skin, black hair and blotches of hair dye on me.....UGH  I do not know why I do these things.  Maybe its because my oldest, Zeke is going to prom tonight and I am feeling a bit old???  So now I am hoping my hair will quickly lighten up a bit and that I can get my husband to help even out this horrible tan......Oh the things we women do! 
P.S.  I would post pics.....but um yeah thats just NOT going to happen!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Confessions of a stay at home mommy

All I have ever wanted was to be a stay at home mom. I had visions of all of this sweet mommy stuff, doing arts and crafts and teaching my kids, taking them to the park. Well I have realized its just not like that, for me anyway.  It actually can be quite boring and depressing at times.  I really need to find a hobby, something for myself.  I get overwhelmed just being a "mommy" all day.  I would like to be better at it, everyone I know has their "super mom" that they look up to, I am wondering what the super moms day is really like.  How do they seem to do everything so perfectly?

Thursday, April 26, 2012

A Hot Mess

I Love that phrase and lately I feel like it describes me quite well.  I think everyone has there own issues and things that they struggle with, but lately it seems like mine has come to the surface.  I am trying to figure out why and how to just be quiet and be still and truely be happy.  There are moments that I catch a glimpse of happiness and then theres another struggle. I guess thats life, you have to deal with all of the baggage that you bring from the past and learn how to let it go, thats what I am trying to figure out.  I love my family and I know that I am blessed, dont get me wrong, I just need to figure out myself. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

Just a thought

Is it better to know the truth and be unhappy, or to live a lie and be happy?

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Mi Familia

So, I thought I would tell you a little about my family:

 Dennis: We have been married for nearly 15 years. He works in the oil field and grew up in Baird TX.  He is super smart and loves history and old movies.  He is very old fashioned which is great at times, but we butt heads over that at times. He is a great husband and father and a very hard worker.

"Zeke": He is 16 and a really good kid, although of course he thinks he knows EVERYTHING. He is very smart, but struggling to figure out what he wants to do in this world.  I was single when he was born, he was and still is the light of  my life. He likes to play the drums, bass guitar and is a total video game nut. His nickname is Zeke, because when he was born I had a hard time naming him, so the nurses decided they had to call him something so they called him Zeke.

"Dozer": He is 9 and is a little comedian. He thinks everything is funny and loves to make people laugh. He is an athlete and loves baseball and football. He lives with his dad and spends the weekends with us. He is such a sweet boy with a big heart.

"Miss Priss": She is 3, and I do believe the nuttiest of all of our kiddos. She is very independent in some ways, but such a mommys girl. She loves to wrap her hands in my hair, that is her "security blanket".  She also loves her daddy, she gets so excited when he gets home from work. She was brought to us when she was 2 days old weighing only 4 lbs 14 oz. After a long battle we finally adopted her when she was 2 1/2.  She has alot of personality and is a rough and tumble girl. She loves gymnastics and horse back riding, and LOVES her big brothers.

Thats about all I can think of to tell you about my family!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

All about ME!

I am a married to Dennis, we have three beautiful children. We will call them Zeke, Dozer, and Miss Priss.  Dennis works in the oil field and is gone alot, but when he is home he spends a lot of time with the kids and doing family stuff. I am a stay at home mom and that is currently exhausting. I think that blogging will (hopefully) be a good hobby for me.  We are foster parents and currently waiting for THE CALL, about another baby, which is exciting and terrifying at the same time. We have been fostering for a few years and have had some great and not so great experiences.  I really like to spend time with my kids, watch movies, shop, all of that normal mommy, girly stuff. So that is who I am...a mommy, wife, sister, and friend!