My first born

I havent written in awhile so I thought I would sit down tonight and write a short blog.  Tomorrow is my oldest son's 17th birthday.  It makes me kind of sad to think about him being so grown up.  It seems like just yesterday he was born.  I think back about that day, and when the nurse handed him to me, I honestly never knew  I could love anyone so much, I thought he was the most beautiful little bundle I have ever seen.  I remember laying in the bed with him in the hospital watching the brady bunch.  I remember every time the phone rang and I had to move him he would scream his head off, he had some major lungs!  For awhile it was just me and him against the owrld, I was a single mom at the time, but I didnt mind.  There have been so many times during the years I was so sure I made such huge mistakes that I would have messed him up for life, but he has grown into quite a young man.   He is very funny and such a clear sense of right and wrong, he makes me very proud.  He has always tried to help the underdog and cared about people.  But he is still  my baby and I worry about the next few years and him being on his own, hopefully I have prepared him for his grown up life. Happy Birthday Zeke!  I love you more than the whole world!

Happy Fathers Day!

Sooo, I am sitting here thinking about this day and what is means.  I am so greatful for my husband who stepped up to be a daddy to our kids (Zeke) in particular when he didnt have to.  I was a single mother when we met and that didnt scare him off one bit! So I would like to say thank you to my husband and all the other daddys out there who stepped up to take care of their kids or someone elses kids.

Finally!

Sooo,  we got some exciting news today!! We were chosen for a child coming into foster care!!  I don't have much information right now, but what I do know is that she is 2 years old and that is about it!  She should be here in about an hour (wow, so fast!).  After I get to see her and what her little personality is like I will come up with a suitable nickname for her.  I am so excited, this makes me think about the night that we got Miss Priss and how nervous and excited we all were.  We waited for what seemed like forever (really it was more like 3 hours) and then the caseworker that was bringing her got lost, sooooo we waited and waited till they brought us our sweet tiny girl.  I did my customary thing and ordered pizza tonight, I always do that when we get a new kiddo, what kid doesn't like pizza, right?  I am a little worried about how I will handle a 3 year old and a 2 year old. Will I ever be able to leave the house again?  Hopefully things will go smoothly, I cant wait to see her little face!

15 years...oh my

So, today is my 15 year wedding anniversary! Wow, that is a long time. I think back to that day 15 years ago (which really does not seem that long ago). I was surrounded by friends getting our hair done and Dennis was getting ready at our house, and from what I heard drinking cup after cup of coffee and getting as jittery as anyone could.  We had a sweet and simple ceremony at he Eastland church of Christ. The thing I remember most about our wedding and our vows was the fact that the preacher added my son in the vows, that it wasnt just Dennis and I, but that we were becoming a family. I loved that!  I am not normally a very sappy person, but that made me tear up.  Dennis has been a wonderful husband (much more than I deserve) and a wonderful father.  We have had our struggles along the way, but who dosent.  We have dealt with infertility, money issues at times, we have been through some very scary and serious medical issues, and becoming foster parents, having our hearts broken in that process and healed again.  We are helping a great friend raise his son and have adopted the most beautiful, nuttiest little girl in the world and of course there is "Zeke", my biological son that Dennis adopted when he was 4.  Looking back over it, there has been alot packed into that 15 years. We have been very blessed. I cant wait to see what the next  15 years holds for us!

Little known facts about my husband

It is almost my 15 year anniversay, so I thought it might be fun to add some little known fun facts about my husband.
#1  and I happen to think the most interesting is that he says that he knew the minute he met me that we would get married.  It took me a little longer to see that.
#2  He hates macaronni and cheese, I happen to think this completely insane, who can hate mac n cheese?
#3  He is very smart...almost too smart.  This has surprised some people , I guess because he works in the oil field, but he loves to work outdoors, so thats what he does.
#4  He use to draw and was quite the artist, but refuses to do so now...:(

#5  He is very old fashioned and misses the "good old days" when things were simpler and according to him movies were much better.
#6  He is wayyyy more patient than me and has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met.
#7  He is a great cook and makes the BEST fried chicken in the whole world.

Wordless Wednesday

 MY LOVES! <3

How to be a mommy??

So, it was mothers day a few days ago and it really got me thinking.  How do most people learn to be the mommies that they want to be? I would think usually by watching and learning from their own mommies.  The problem with me is that I never really had a mommy growing up.  My family is quite crazy and I never had that role model.  I think it is interesting that all I have ever wanted was to be a mommy. When I was little I actually put my baby dolls under my shirt, so I could be "pregnant"! LOL   Maybe since I wanted a mommy so badly at that point, as I am sure all little girls do,  I craved being the perfect little mommy myself.  The problem is now that I am all grown up and have REAL kids and not baby dolls anymore, and my kids have REAL problems and REAL attitudes.  I have a hard time figuring out how to deal with motherhood sometimes,  I have always wanted to be the perfect mommy and the days when my kids are driving me crazy and stomping on my last nerve I find myself yelling like a crazy person, and that is not the mommy I wanted to be. It makes me feel so guilty and horrible.  All I can do is strive to be a better mommy that I really do want to be. But my question is, when you have had NO role models (except for June Cleaver mommies on TV) then what do you do, how do figure this mommy thing out.  That is my struggle, I want it, but don't know how to achieve it.  Maybe some of these real life super mommies need to write a how to manual???