mommy guilt

So, my oldest son, Zeke is about to graduate and I find myself looking back over his life.  He was my first baby, I loved him instantly and in many ways he saved me.  But yesterday as I was watching my sweet boy walking to school, so quiet with his head down, I felt such guilt over not being a better mom.  I have always suffered with depression and some anxiety and lets face it, I am not patient AT ALL.  I know all moms out there have felt this dreaded mommy guilt.  In many ways he has grown to be so much better than me and more mature, I am truley thankful for that.  Although as a teenager we butt heads at times , he is a great kid and I am so proud of him.  It going to be hard to let go and learn to be a mom of an adult.  But most of all getting rid of this mommy guilt!